FTW

Check mate, I have the cutest niece evah:

My niece as Cinderella.

Love the Song, Hate the Lyrics?

There are just some songs that I absolutely love, but hate the lyrics. Neko Case's "Never Turn Your Back on Mother Earth" is one such songs. The song is so preachy, it could have been written by a overly emotional teenager (but I repeat myself), except the actual music is gorgeous and I can't stop listening to it.

I guessing that's why I like a lot of French songs. I bet if I knew what they were really singing I wouldn't love the songs that much.

Sunday Morning Tune

Sweet Pea by Tommy Roe

(I just actually watched the video, instead of only listening to the song. Tommy is kind of creepy, right?)

Reflections of 9/11 Memorial

I went yesterday to the 9/11 Memorial with by husband, who at the time of the attacks worked two blocks down from the World Trade Center at the time of the attacks. I was the one who pushed for us to go to the memorial, he didn’t seem too enthusiastic about the trip. I was a bit apprehensive about his reaction, I experienced 9/11 in a very different way than he had – on tv, in the safety of my living room, and it worried me that the experience might be a bit too raw for him. He assured that although it wasn’t something he himself would think to do, he had no problems going.

It was chilly, windy, and overcast in New York yesterday. I felt underdressed for the weather. When we arrived we were ushered into a line, showing a bunch of different security personnel our reserved tickets (they are free, but need to be reserved in advance). The line leads to an indoor security area where your bag/coat and anything metal goes through a baggage screener. Once you pass this area you are on your way to the memorial. Although you can see it at first, because it’s blocked off by the tarp, what surrounds the area is a large construction site which is a strange, yet appropriate juxtaposition.

The memorial itself is set in a plaza filled with trees.  There are two waterfall/reflecting pools, each is about an acre in size and are set where the North and the South towers used to be.  Each reflecting pools is a negation of the two huge towers that used to stand there.  The first thing I noticed is that when you come to the rim of the pool, you cannot see completely inside. The structure is too enormous to see in its entirety, a perfect experience for the tragedy that occurred that day. The pool (s) is gorgeous, with the black granite offsetting the many stream of water flowing down. It is both meditative and reminds one of the things falling/collapsing (the waterfall effect of the water) and the tears that so many have shed because of the assholes who decided to murder innocent people that day. Since it was so windy yesterday, the even flow of many streams was disrupted by the wind.  I’m not sure it was intentional, but the effect it had one me was of the water resembling fire. The wind making the water woosh up and down just like the flames of a fire. Another  image invoking the fires that burned for months at the site. 

My husband saw the name of a woman who was a client of his; she was only a year older than him. He could have been so easily gone that day, just like her, it was wonderful and incredibly sad moment.  People around us had a variety of experiences. Some were somber, others cried, however most smiled and took photos. I’m usually a maniac when comes to taking pictures, I didn’t feel like taking any at the time.  I’m not begrudging people who took it as a tourist experience and posed happily for the camera, but my mood was drastically different. 9/11 felt too immediate right there and then to smile and ham it up for the cameras.

Nostalgia Chick

I love her deadpan.

Has Been Stuck In My Head

Song about "winged swings" sounds retarded in Enlgish but beautiful in Russian.

Sometimes a cough is just a cough

I had mine for almost a week now. I've hated coughing ever since my operation last year, where the aftermath was a three months coughing fit. I'm going back and forth of whether it's just a cough or my cancer has returned with full vigor. Did I mention how much fun it is in my brain.

Daily Romance

I had a few plans for yesterday that involved socializing with some friends in Williamsburg and doing some food shopping. Inevitably the plans fell trhough and on a beautiful November day Peter and I stayed in. He mostly slept, not feeling well, and I cleaned and fussed on the computer. In the evening I reflected how the day was probably one of the most romantic days I've ever experienced. Weird how a (seemingly) really boring day of nothingness can be a whole lot of wonderful things.

Lies By Ommision

Whenever I'm filling out any kind of document that makes reference to punishement for false information, I inevitably get an guilty feeling. It doesn't matter that I am filling out these forms in good faith, something makes my heart race a lot quicker as I sign that tax form or any another beauracratic piece of paper. The thought that maybe I didn't tell the whole truth creeps up and spintails into making me believe (irrationally) I'm a no-good, wily individual.

Blame it on my upbringing. I was always a horrible liar. Horrible. (I can't even pull a sweet practical joke on my husband, let alone, fool IRS.) Yet, I also tended to love having secrets, especially from my parents. So when I didn't want something to be known, I didn't exactly lie, I ommitted. In the case I did lie, I was always found, hence the lie by ommission has served me well in my childhood, it was a great technical loophole. In adulthood it hasn't panned out as well. I tend to not speak when I need to speak up, choosing to bottle up negative stuff. Where someone can easily muster up a white lie about being too busy, I agonize about the excuse I'm going to make. Worse off I ignore the situation. Making it ten times worse.

My sister mentioned how recently she read about a study suggesting kids' lying as a positive attribute.

... lying involves multiple brain processes. You have to mentally collect sources of information and manipulate the data to your advantage, which requires a great deal of thinking and reasoning.

Thus, Lee says, lying is linked to the development of brain regions that allow "executive functioning."

I think it can be a great tool. Honesty is not always the best policy and sometimes in the name of self-preservation one has to lie. That's why I would make a horrible business person, not enough mental arobics to manipulate other people.

The only time I can truly lie is that I convince myself the lie is the truth, less harder than one would think. My grandmother used to do it all the time and it would drive the whole family nuts. Maybe I should try it more often. There be less guilt and more job opportunities.

Love is their whole happiness

I'm not one to re-watch/re-read too many movies/books. There are exceptions. When I was in school, every time I got sick, I used to watch Anne in Green Gables series. So I have the tendency it just that it's rare. Besides Kieslowski,  Miyazaki, and  Kar Wai Wong movies I tend to watch things once. There is also John Hughes movies. I, like a lot of others, can quote The Breakfast Club verbatim.

Recently I've been jonesing to see Pretty in Pink and since it's not on instant Netflix, I've been using a clip of Ducky dancing to Otis Redding's "Try A Little Tenderness" to stave off the craving. It's so wonderful, honestly probably in my top ten scenes of all time.



P.S. Here is Jon Cryer interview where he mentions how this scene came together. 

P.P.S. How fucking awesome is that song?!

Quote of the Day

“Just because you’re alive doesn’t mean you’re healthy and vibrant.”from a article on old parents that touches a nerve.

Funny People

I have now watched Freak & Geeks and Undeclared. I think Judd Apatow should come back to television. I love his characters - funny and flawed people. I'm so tired of canned story lines starring perfect looking people. I guess there is his movies to look forward to.

On Gluttony

I'm not sure what happened but somewhere along the lines I gave myself permission to eat like a pregnant lady this summer. The results are what you might expect from someone who decides to eat chocolate or ice cream just because the mood striked (maybe every single day). There is a great line from a Ray Bradburry's Dandelion Wine about a perfect woman not being too skinny or too fat from the love she receives. Not sure where I was going with that reference, but it reminds me that moderation can be a good thing and I have a person who loves me so all this eating might need to be reigned in. I'm getting to a point of being a bit too heavy for my liking.

We are going to Texas, I doubt my gluttony will be suppressed there....but once I'm back and begin working at the US Open, I think it will be time to reign in some of the urges and rediscover my love for the gym.

On My Twenties

I've spent most of my life around people who are older than me. I feel like I never took the time to enjoy being the age I actually am. Also, the stupid cancer got in a way of a lot of fun. I need to change that. I need to rethink some things to do before I turn 30. Jumping out of an airplane or getting a tattoo are not in the cards though.

WHat I Learned From Reading My Own Blog

Alternatively titled: Things I Do When I Should Be Be Productive

So apparently I saw Snakes on the Plane movie. I did not remember this very important occurance. Which proves to me I need to keep this baby going, since I will look back in my old age and might actually remember something.

Rubio Hits It Out of the Ballpark

"Compromise is fantastic. I would love nothing more than to leave this building tomorrow night having said 'The Republic still works' I was able to stand shoulder to shoulder with people from states far from mine, with views different from mine but who love their country so much they were able to come together and save it when it faced this catastrophe. I would love nothing more than a compromise, but I would say that compromise that is not a solution is a waste of time."

On the Financial Front

Things I shouldn't look at, but invariably do:
Cute children's clothes/toys
Shoe website
Discount Clothes websites
Designer Furniture websites
Fancy Cooking Things website
Cooking classes websites
Travel for cheap websites.....

In order not to spend money I must not give my chance to actually spend it. Ugh. Stupid no-having-job situation.

The Only Reason To Be Sober.....

I found this exchange hilarious.

From "Stuff my girlfriend says":

Because she wasn’t drinking alcohol, a friend asked if she was pregnant.

“Why? Do you have to be sober to get an abortion?”

Ignorance Is Bliss

There some singers and actors that I loathe to know about their private lives. It's like Corinne Bailey Rae's "Put Your Records On" is such a simple, sweet song. But every time I listen to it, I start thinking about Rae's overdosed husband, how is she coping with his death? The sweetness of the song just emphasizes the cruelty of the situation. She probably doesn't need my pity and yet there it is.
Same with actors, it's very hard to watch a movie with Tom Cruise and not see "Tom Cruise" instead of the character his playing.

NOW WE DANCE

Sometimes when you can do anything, there is only the monkey and the urge to dance. I always think of this when I need rouse my lazy bum and do something!

New Tools

Lately I have been obsessed with making Peter's apartment our home. I'm looking at a bunch of websites in order to figure out how to arrange our little studio to both give us privacy, comfort, enough space to do what we like, and to occasionally make room for a guest or two who might want to visit us. It's fun but a little daunting...since Peter's idea of a budget for the new stuff is a bit lower than mine and because we have somewhat a different sense of aesthetic (I'm modern, he's more classic/authentic). However, I've discovered this little cool tool from Raymour and Flanigan Furniture that lets you plan your room right there on the web page. I'm excited to use it. In the mean time we are looking at this little sleeper for guests. I just wish there were more color options.