Question

I've been thinking a bit about the politics of sex. More specifically what makes one an "ideal" mate - or what do we seek in a mate? Sometimes when i hear different people descibe their ideal mate, what they end up describing the typical characteristics of their own sex. For example, many girls want a guy who is sensitive, can cook, likes going to the theater, takes care of his looks. Or in case of a guy; a girl who he can bounce off fart jokes on, discuss the intricacies of his favorite football/baseball team, and party like a rock star. Maybe i am simplifying things but it seems like if you take a girl put her in a cute boys body then you would have that stereotypically perfect mate that women so often talk about.

Just read friendster testimonials - explaining why this or that person is who you really want to get with - most of them read like you want him/her because they like the same things you do. I have prided my self on being a "tomboy" and on having guy friends - but in reality is that a ploy to be more attractive? Maybe in reality we want to get it on with our own sex and just so happen that (for obvious reasons of procreation) are attracted to the opposite sex? I don't know any girls who want a sissy boyfriend or a guy who wants a really butch girlfriend - but there is a need to find someone like yourself.

I heard John Gottman of http://www.smartmarriages.com/ on the radio, comparing homosexual couples' vs. Heterosexual couples' success rates. The results suggest homosexual couples are more successful on average than heterosexual couples - suggesting that a man understands a man better and a women understands a woman better. In English literature there is a long tradition of homosexual expressions of love. Marlowe wrote a poem about the limitations of love between men - how sad to have to be with a woman. Basically an ideal woman is a man. Maybe he had a point. I don't know.

Personally, at the moment my one requirement is that the guy surprises me, other than that i'm clueless.