Friday, June 24, 2005

A Letter

Dear Young Twenty Something Girls Standing In Front Of Me Yesterday:
I know that you're young and hip and want to be down with the whole alternative scene. But here are a few rules to abide by:

1. When the band begins to play SHUT UP.

2. Seriously, i don't want to hear your pseudo lesbian chatter. Like ohmygod if you need to get another beer so you can better pretend to be either a retarded child or a pseudo lesbian? Go do it, don't talk about hooow you really need that beer, and for the love of g-d see rule #1.

3. Stop pretending you're a lesbian and all alternative. I know you really like that indie guy in that all black outfit and the fact that you cling to one another like a new born babe clings to his mother's breast doesn't make you seem more independent. It makes you seem insecure and desperate for attention. You're here to enjoy the music (supposedly) not to sell a lifestyle.

4. Stop acting like the two of you are the only ones in the room and don't care if half the male population in room is looking at you. You care, admit it and move on. However the men you are "not trying to attract" are mostly a) annoyed, just like me that you're blocking their view and acting like three year-olds on ecstasy b) gay and give a rat's ass if you strip naked c) probably would like to do you but are still very much annoyed by insecure bullshit you spew out.

5. Stop it. It's not pretty. Try to listen to the music, because it's damn good.

Sincerely,
Petitedov

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