Monday, June 09, 2008

My ringlet of Tasty Death!!

My boyfriend is having problems with cockroaches in his apartment. I suggested he use "chinese chalk" a product my family has used to eliminate the disgusting buggers a while back. I went on line to see if I can find some information about the chalk and I came across this gem:
I live in the Bronx, New York City area and I have found the ANSWER! It is ILLEGAL however, but a solution nonetheless. I have had some serious bouts with these bastards, they are quite resilient a species.
I am quite sadistic in nature, so this may not be the best or even humane route to accomplishing the task you've set out on.
THE ANSWER YOU SEEK involves destroying a creature thats been around millions of years!! But don't let numbers get in your way!
You simply MUST find a product called "Chinese Chalk" or one of it's many other names...IT WORKS MY FRIENDS!! NO BULLSH*T!!!
First, Google what the side effects are because of it's pesticidal contents, and the fact that yes it's ILLEGAL in the states to purchase...but what the hell, it's the price I payed to be roach free, and I'd do it again in a heart-beat!
Secondly, find the product and purchase it...then laugh aloud meniacally, and in sinister way rub you hands together back and forth mimicking the dirty little buggers you're about to annihilate. (I pretended personally that I was the pilot of the Enola Gay all the way home with product in hand)!!!
Thirdly, kick open the door and yell out (IM MAD AS HELL...AND IM NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!)
My way to destroying these bastards was derived from a friend who told me what to expect 15 hours after employing the product...except I went overboard...WAYYY OVERBOARD!
The chalk has some kind of nervous system destroying ingredient that only affects when they cross the line that you've drawn on the floor, wall, baseboard, etc. the chalk gets picked up by the legs of the creature and breaks down the nervous system of the infidel, leaving a twitching, parylized, roach on the floor!
So what I did was draw a sort of "bullseye" out of the chalk in the middle of my most infected room which happened to be my the middle of my bullseye....there was my piece de resistance to all cockroaches!!! A large piece of white bread smothered in Welch's Grape Jelly and Chunky Jiff Peanut Butter!! I called it: My ringlet of Tasty Death!!
Lastly, since I have large ceramic
tile floor in my kitchen...I bought a 99 cent water spray bottle meant for watering plants, and turned it into a tool of instantaneous insect death by filling it with rubbing alcohol. 13 hours later after deploying the chalk I had a hundred or so twitching little bastards on their backs on my tile I let loose the water bottle on them with the help of my trusty zippo lighter...had me a little roach barbeque...oh how they snapped and popped!!
I have used it a handful of times after that until I recieved satisfactory results ending in no sightings for months at a time! Try it, believe me you wont be sorry!!!

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