Trying

I've been trying to be more positive. Something that is quite foreign to me. Being a positive panda instead of a sad panda (new word: sanda) has been a bit challenging. I've convinced myself the cancer has comeback (this is all in my head), I will know more about it when I go to the doctor's next week, until then I'm trying to think of something else (anything).


I have also tried to not get annoyed where in the past I would have flown into a rage. I try to discern things that can be changed and adjust my attitude when they can't be - the coworker who constantly dumps work on me and when he does his work he is woefully crappy at it - well I just try to stay away from him, the pile of papers I need to organize on my desk - I will get it done one by one instead of despairing about them never disappearing.

I've been trying to avoid stress, waking up earlier, going to bed earlier, not rushing on the road to get to my work. If I'm a little bit late, it won't be the end of the world. I'm also trying not to take things to close to the heart - you don't like me? well no one can please everyone a 100% of the time. So yeah, it's been a struggle, it doesn't seem like that much from the outside. In fact people who are closest to me will probably do a double take after reading this post. But I feel like I'm trying and that's the first step. Think positive!