Dear Hair,

I hate you. So very, very much. At one point we were in love. Especially that awkward chubby phase I went through as a teenager. You were there for me when all other physical aspects had let me down. Strong, silky, and smooth you were my pride and joy. I know we had to part for sometime during the "chemo" episode but I always thought you would comeback to me, like an old friend. Instead you have come back as the ugly stepchild, you are neither curly or straight, instead you make my hair look like a chimney sweep brush. Like this one:

So yeah if you can straighten that out (litterally), this will a better stronger union. Otherwise I will cut you. No seriously, scissors in hand.
formerly in love,
Petitedov