Like most Russians, I love watching Irony of Fate around New Year's time. Honestly, watching the same movies over and over, the ones I grew up with is my idea of great.
This year will be a muted affair, a first time in a long time. Peter is sick and I'm in the mood to be quiet, instead of celebratory. It hasn't hit me yet that 2012 is almost over. In fact Peter keeps asking me what I want for New Year's and I honestly don't want any presents, I'm not being the annoying coy wife either.
What I want can't be given to me in a present. I want self-control. I want meaningful experiences. I want less mindlessness and more mindfulness (as corny as it sounds). I want all of this from myself and honestly I don't know if I'm capable of achieving it. Because it's hard, all of it is so hard. It's much easier to be numb, to go from day to day and let it all pass by.
I recently read an article meditating on how couples can stay happily together and in love (as an aside, I hate myself a little bit more each time I say, "I just read an NYT article about this...." #justshootme). The basic premise (taken that you are in a relationship where both people are kind & good to one another) is what makes a relationship satisfying is the element of surprise. You can definitely apply this approach not just to relationships but to life in general. The moments I have truly enjoyed in the last few years have been of a new revelations, as I get older less and less of that wonderment is felt and I'm really sad about it.
Recently, Betka wrote about Gulka's wonderment at snow. My four and half year old niece was amazed by the whiteness of snow (not races) - hearing about it made me so happy. I want that wonderment back, I want that extra "ah" in my life and the only way to get it is to actually work on the non-routine and just thinking about it makes me tired.
So here's to the same old buildings producing all kinds of wonderful surprises.
Translation of one of my favorite songs:
If you don't have a home, fires aren't scary
And your wife won't run around on you with your friends
If you don't, if you don't if you don't have a wife.
If you don't have a dog, your neighbor won't poison it.
And your friend won't fight
If you don't, if you don't, if your don't have a friend.
The orchestra plays together
The trumpeters blow their horns
Think to yourself, decide for yourself
To have or not to have
If you don't have an aunt, you will not lot lose her
And if you never live
Then you won't, then you won't, then you won't die.
2 comments:
When was this "Irony of Fate" movie made? I was trying to find it.
It was made in the 1970's. 1976 I believe :) A subtle critique of Soviet sameness.
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