The day started inauspiciously i slept through my alarm. Then i couldn't contact my condominium's maintenance guy who has my UPS package containing the precious ELPH. The little wondrous toy I've been waiting for what seems like forever (and yes I attend to deluge this blog with hundred of photos but only till the fever breaks). Then i'm packing my things: cell phone: check, The Satanic Verses: check, keys: check, wallet: WHERE'S MY WALLET? This was followed my five minutes of defeatist activity and the result was nada. Then in the car i was listening to NPR, the radio station i was in love with for so long. I even forgave it bad coverage of Israel. But this morning i couldn't take it. They were interviewing some professor from Harvard and how offended she was over President Summer's remarks . Comparing him to some quack scientist a hundred years who used quack science to maintain the theory of women's unteri shrinking when the female uses her brain too much. I was so frusterated with this woman, she was demanding him to resign or to kill his first born, i wasn't sure which. And there was no one to show another side to put his words into a little thing called context. So here I am wondering if I lost my wallet, will I get my digital camera ever, will i ever learn to love NPR again, and how exactly am I going to go skiing this weekend when I don't know when and where things are going to take place?
Arriving at work i was hopeful that being busy would get my mind off things. No such luck. I've been wondering the office picking up one project after another, only to let it go a few minutes later. I perfected the art of looking busy so well, my has no reason to complain or give me a dirty look.
And the reality of it is this: i'm angry, with who and what i have no clue. This is the kind of anger that sweeps over me from time to time, i keep imagining a huge oceanic wave of anger gliding over me every few minutes. Or remember the scene in Pretty Woman when the hooker and the millionaire are lying in a bathtub waxing about their pasts and getting all emotional? There's a line that Richard Gere's character says: " I was very angry with my Father. It took me $10,000 to able to say it." It's the way Gere delivers word "angry" that keeps running through my head. "I'm very angry." The anger wouldn't be that bad if i knew why i was angry; its illogic is making me even more angry. So here i'll sit huffing away and pretending to work. Until life will get back in its proper prospective and i realize for how much i should be thankful for.
Update: Feeling a little bit better. After two phone calls, a little bit of sun on my face and Ghost by Indigo Girls (which fetures one of my favorite images - the mississippi's mighty but it starts in Minnesota at a place where you could walk across with five steps down and i guess that's how you started like a pinprick to my heart but at this point you rush right through me and i start to drown). Yes i admit to liking Indingo Girls, judge me if you want for that and the fact that like a depressed adolescent i just posted their lyrics, remeber i'm having a bad day.
No comments:
Post a Comment