I haven't even read the article yet....

and already the title made want to gag a little.

My Five Dads
What Scarlett Johansson has learned from Tom Waits, Bill Murray, Woody Allen, Bob Dylan, and Barack Obama.

Man, her real dad must feel shitty. I mean, listing Woody Allen as one of your "fathers?" Just a bit gross.
I don't know if I'll be able to actually read the article where the author, I'm sure, figuratively attempts to go down on Scarlet through his writing. Can't wait.