Monday, April 04, 2011

Through Rose Colored Glasses of Nostalgia

I'm sure the Germans have a word for it, but I'm trying to come up with it in English and it's failing me. I got to hang out with a friend from Scotland last night and while seeing him was absolutely fantastic (and I'm hoping his job brings him back to our local parts soon), it brought back a whole range of emotions I hadn't anticipated. Specifically of the period of time when I was studying abroad, how dear and wonderful that time now seems, yet how horrible it really was. Besides a few highlights such as my friend and FilmSoc, I was pretty miserable. I was completely lost, depressed by the weather, and more so by my purpose in life. And yet, reading some old entries from that time I'm reminded of how my writing improved, how much I loved living abroad on my own, even while miserable, about the relationships I formed, and the experiences etched in my mind. I think about what I would have done differently if I knew then, what I know now - of opportunities missed, of chances not taken, of friendships not kept. The nostalgia is beautiful and painful at the same time. And while trying to go back is futile and impossible, a part of me aches to.

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